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[30 Apr 2006|12:48am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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something on tv |
] |
I'm not enjoying life right now.... I just need to get away for a bit...
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| Why? |
[03 Apr 2006|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
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music |
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Chris Brown, Yo |
] |
Why are the people you meet off facebook so damn weird? It's like if you meet someone off facebook they are bound to just be WEIRD! This guy, who randomly IMed me off of facebook, messages me about 12 times a day asking me how I'm doing. Yes, it's nice, but if you ask me every 5 minutes it gets annoying. My mood doesn't change every 5 minutes. And whats with asking to stop by? I don't know this person and I sure as hell do not want this person in my apartment. They could be crazy...
I'm not trying to be a bitch... I just don't like being badgered...
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[27 Mar 2006|02:09am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Love, Kisha Cole |
] |
If I could turn back time... Would I still have picked you?
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| Loooooooogie |
[15 Mar 2006|01:49am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
] |
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music |
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my tiffany braclet on my desk as i type |
] |
I just want to know when it will stop hurting? I hurt so so much! I miss him... I've never felt this way. It's weird becuase i don't tlak to him.. EVER and I just can't stop thinking about him... I talked to him when I was in DC but yea... I passed on a really nice guy because i wasn't over him... What's wrong with me? I have a 2 min rebound rate and then I'm on to something/someone else... It's just differnt with him... I just want to stop missing him... I was telling Jay about how I could live without him, but I would so much rather have him in my life. But thats life. I have to grow and move on
Ipod number 3... And it's fucking up already...
The loves of me life are comming to see me this weekend... We shall be infanate (sp).
Later Days
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| Good Day |
[13 Feb 2006|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Something on XM Radio |
] |
Today was a good day. I didn't feel hopeless and like my world is crashing.
I love Mike. In a I-Genuinely-Care-About-You kind of way. Nuf said. I'm not going to tell him. I don't see the point. There's more to the story, but it's nap-time.
Later Days
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| I Should Be Doing HW |
[08 Feb 2006|12:39am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
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music |
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OurLawyersMadeUsChangeThisSongSoWeWouldntGetSued, FOB |
] |
| You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut | 
A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image.
On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex.
You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time.
Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence. |
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| Had a bad day again... |
[06 Feb 2006|03:32pm] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Heartbroken, Aaliyah |
] |
Today started out as a bad day. While driving back up to school I had the urge to drive my car off the side of the road and crash into something. I didn't though. I don't know what brought this on. I think it was because my dad is "disapointed" in me, again, as always(?). I'm just not a happy person right now
I've been thinking about Mike a lot in the past two days. It hurts to think about him. I want to get over him, not to start a differnt relationship, but to just be happy. I was happy before him, I was happier with him, and without him... I'm not unhappy (well, I'm unhappy but he didn't make me unhappy) I'm just missing the bright spot in my day. Call me crazy...
Detroit was BANANAS this weekend. So many people, I hardly recognized my city. The Steelers took over and Detroiters were shoved out... haha... I had a good weekend. That was until I got yelled at for not calling... Parents... Long story... Nap time...
Later Days
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| First of the Year |
[22 Jan 2006|04:13am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Merisa Packing |
] |
2006 got off to a not so great start. My aunt died suddenly and Mike and I are still fuzzy. I miss my aunt very much and i wish that she were still here. I miss Mike like crazy... I guess I'm just missing things...
My Mom's side of the family came in for the funeral, which was awesome sence I never get to see them. My family is crazy, bottom line. I now know why I am the way that I am. I'm a product of crazy people.But I love them I wouldn't trade them.
Went to Canada with my Cousin. Very intresting. Cute boys and nice people at customs make my life easy.
Later Days when I'm more awake
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| Why Arn't I An Art Major? |
[11 Dec 2005|11:53am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
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music |
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Heaven Sent - Estero |
] |
Almost everyone I know is majoring in something that love. But I don't think I love business. I want to go into Advertising and the closest think to Advertising that most schools have is Marketing and minoring in Advertising. I wish I could major in Art and minor in Advertisning. But I don't think I'll do that. The sad reality is that my parents arn't going to pay for a degree that will only put in a position to be a teacher. They don't want me to have the same faite as my mom. Teach for 12 years in inner-city schools. But she was lucky, she has an amazing job now. But back to the subject at hand. And the sad reality is, is that I like money. I think I will slave away at a job that I'm not crazy about all because I like money. I like being able to buy nice things and having options. Now I don't LOVE money, just like it. I LOVE Art.
Mike forgave me. I don't know. I don't know what we are butit feels like we're falling into coupledom. I feel the need to explain what I did when I go out and make sure he knows that I didn't do anything that would hurt him. I told him about the events at the pub, well not all of them. Not the ones about me and the "pretty boy." Why tell him about me harmlessly flirting? And why tell him that there's a boy up vyeing for my attention. Maybe I should tell him. Because I want to know where this is going. If we're not going anywhere then why stay when I can be with someone who wants me? I care about Mike a lot. I don't want to admit it. I'm scared, thats all.
Birthday is on wednesday. 20 is the most pointlss age ever.
Later Days
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[25 Nov 2005|03:08pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
I fucked up big time. I feel really about it. I don't know what to do...
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| i don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it |
[17 Nov 2005|11:00pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The News |
] |
Once again, Mike says that he's comming up... And once again, he doesn't/can't. His car, engine, cought on fire so he can't come up. It sucks, big time. I really want to be mad at him because he should have bought a car that worked and if he can find a way to go to Chicago then he should be able to make his way up here to see me. Maybe I'm not that important to him and I should just move on. I just sick of him getting my hopes up and then him letting me down. I'm about to say, "here's how to get to me, come up when you have the time and don't tell me, just surprise me." It hurts too much...
I'm going to see Harry Potter... Yay?
Later Days
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| Econ sucks... |
[06 Nov 2005|11:59am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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My Parents on the Phone |
] |
My Econ. teacher is a racist prick. I'm not saying this because I'm a "bitter black girl" but because of how unfair he is. I went to talk to him during his office hours one day about my grade. I'm not doing too well in his class but I go everyday, take notes, and I outline the chapters. After all of my hard work I still don't get it! So I talked to this guy, I begged, and he said that all he could offer me was a bit of advice; "To get all A's on the rest of my work then I could get out of his class with a low B, and this is if no one blows the curve out of the water". Mind you; I don't understand this stuff and the class average is a 64%!!!!!! He also said that he couldn't offer any extra credit because "what I offer to one person I would have to offer it to the rest of the class." I thought about this long and hard. I wondered if I could do it. I wanted to welcome the challenge but in the words of my teacher, "it would be an uphill battle." This man who is getting paid to mold young minds encouraged me to drop his class. I was thinking about it anyway because he is such a horrible teacher and I don't want a crappy grade on my transcripts because I'm trying to transfer to school that less racist and I don't have to live him fear of being lynched (I'll get to this story in a minute). So I decided to drip his class. While I was waiting to speak to him after the next class meeting, I over herd and entire conversation he had with a fellow class mate. This guy was in the same predicament I am in, doing all of the work and getting a low grade on it. The only difference is that he's doing to practice work (our homework is done online on a website) which is marked "PRACTICE" as clear as day on the PRACTICE work, and the GRADED work is marked even larger. So this kid talked to the teacher told him his problem and you know what the teacher said this; "I'll talk the average of your next 5 homework’s and replace the zeros with the average because that’s probably how you would have done on them anyways." What happened this thing that he calls fairness? How is that fair? At that moment I decided to drop his class and just be done with this asshole for forever. I'm debating if I should write a letter the head of the department on this. Mind you, my classmate was a "white male".
This weekend was kind of a bust... Waite, this week sucked! I'm glad it's over.
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| I'm a Lover, I'm a Sinner, I Play My Music in the Sun... |
[30 Oct 2005|04:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Steve Miller Band - The Joker |
] |
Last night was kind of intresting. Halloween parties not so up the butt but I had. I was a Pixie as usual lol! Didn't drink that much but oh well. My body is thanking me.
So there's this guy John. He's sooo cute and funny and nice... But he lives in Miami. What the hell? Why do all of the good guys live so far from me? For once, let me meet someone that lives near me. Is that too much to ask? lol
I gotta go be social because we have company right now. And I have to study and go running in a bit.
Later Days
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[26 Oct 2005|09:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
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phonebooth |
] |
i'm smoking again... not because i want to but because i now have too.... omg!
later days
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[03 Oct 2005|05:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my dad talking |
] |
i'm stressed. i'm freaking out about grades. i'm worried that my gpa isn't going to be great enough to get out of here. i'm just scared... i'm not used to this feeling. i don't like it. for once, i want to start again somewhere else.
my dad gave me website on personal growth. i think i'll read it.
Later Days
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[02 Oct 2005|09:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 trapped |
] |
| [ |
music |
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jack johnson - sitting waiting, wishing |
] |
i want to transfer... i want out... GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!
other then that SLG is cool. good group of girls.
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| low |
[26 Sep 2005|10:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick of being sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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My Super Sweet 16 |
] |
Today is kind of a low day. I don't know why. It was going really good and then I felt like everything was crashing around me. Like I was falling and my safty net wasn't anywhere in sight. I don't know why I feel like this... Well maybe I do... Roomies are doing the sorority thing, Mike..., I'm behind in a project because I'm not into it, I'm starting to get sick of this small town thing, I don't have a job, I'm just feeling antsy. I can't get focused!!!!!!
The roomies doing the sorority thing really makes me wish that the AKA's where here. It's something that I really want to do and I feel so left out.
My safty net (parents, friends, family) are all spread out and are so far away. I miss them so much. I think if I had more distractions (like exptra curriculars) I wouldn't think about it so much.
Mike... Hasn't called. I like him. I'm going threw the getting over him process. I want to try something other then being single. I don't want to be with just anyone. I want to be with some I actually like, that's good for me at the moment (I really don't have the time to be thinking about long long term).
I cannot get focused on this project of my business class. It's not big, just creating a resume and creating a job hunt packet. I just don't want to do it.
I don't know how I feel about this small town thing. I like my school... I like the frineds I've made... I think it's just a low day.
I don't have job... I want a job... I miss having money.
Later Days
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| B.A.N.A.N.A.S |
[25 Sep 2005|07:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
OK Go - You're So Damn Hot |
] |
Last night was fun. I met some cool people, sat in a hot tub (kiddie poole with warm water) at 1 am, laughed at a cop, and had a blast with tye-dye.
Later Days
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